"All things grow...". p.s. this is really cheesy. p.p.s. i am blogging it anyway.

this song is a new fav.

{me & noah. october 2009}

i often wish i could go back to certain moments in time & tell myself things that i didn't quite yet know.

it's so odd. it's odd to think of "that anna" (the one from last october) being different from the me today. 

"that anna" was bogged down with so much doubt in herself. she was pretty sure she wasn't going to finish her math credits & on most days she lost sleep wondering what would become of life once her dear friends all graduated & got married & moved on. she felt twelve steps behind everyone.

she was also full of hopes.
hopes that things would work out & that she would begin to be brave. 

& her hopes did come true.  she passed her math class & she continued to follow her school path....however, from that point- with more fervor.

she was brave.  although she was terrified to open her heart up to a boy.  but she was so brave & she did. & she was so happy that she did.

she wasn't expecting heartbreak.  

no, last year at this moment she was convinced she would be able to protect her heart from any ache.
she fought to protect her heart from being vulnerable.

she wouldn't believe you if you told her she would succumb to heartbreak.
no, she wouldn't. she'd say, "i would never give anyone that much power. the power to break my heart."

but she did. & she'd do it again.

she'd protest, saying that she would not allow herself to fall for anyone.  all the while, in the back of her mind, she'd secretly be wishing it was true, that she would fall for someone in the coming year.  no matter the heartbreak.

but if i went back to "that anna" i'd tell her to go ahead & follow her heart. & if her heart was swelling with joy, to enjoy it. enjoy the coming months filled with wonderful moments.  i would tell her it might hurt like hell at the end, but  that she would never regret it.  i'd tell her to always take risks & at the end of it all, i'd be there to comfort her.  

i'd tell her she is going to grow in a million different ways & that she was going to learn most of the coming lessons from her mistakes.  

mistakes that were necessary for her growth. 

i'd tell her no matter how sad she gets, how scared or how bitter- she would be ok in the end.

& i'd tell her that at the end of the day, she would be content with the memories of the past.  & how she'll always kindle hopes of what's to come- no matter the falls she's taken so far.
  

"She fell, she hurt, she felt. She lived. And for all the tumble of her experiences, she still had hope."-sarah dessen.

xo-

birthday recap in photos II. : dinner with my sweet friends & hitting the town.

thanks to everyone, including You, for making this birthday incredible.  i love you all so very much.  more than you will ever know!

xoxo.

see more photos of the fun here. : )

day five.

{via: tumblr.}

the end. 

i had a wonderful finals week & am so relieved to be finished!  thanks to all of your encouraging comments & messages--you make even the most hectic of days beautiful. thank you for that.

I bid you adieu Spring Semester 2010.

we had some good times.

i can't say i won't miss you some.

thanks for being pretty swell,

and for creating so many wonderful memories.

here's to a perfect summer & lovely Fall Semester 2010!

Love, Anna.

original graphic credit.

xo-

day four.

this semester i took zumba for a fill in credit.

i loved it, though i was pretty terrible. we had to choreograph a dance & present it to the class... my song of choice? spices girls spice up your life. i already had half of the dance from when my cousins & i came up with one in 1997.

i really love the class & definitely want to get certified some day...i highly recommend it--and i'm not one for working out...!

learn more about zumba here.

see my twin liz lemon attempting cardio-hip-hop-groove here. that is pretty much how i looked in zumba everyday...ok, that is how i looked everyday.

original graphic credit.

xo-
p.s. this picture is too stinken' adorable for words!

day three.

this semester i had to take the course First Amendment & Society. the amount of information i learned in this class was incredible.

though it was at 8am, i really enjoyed every lesson. i could hardly believe how much i didn't know about the importance of the U.S. first amendment, and how much i tend to take it for granted.

[notes notes & more notes.]

it's a fascinating amendment which brings up a plethora of tricky cases and i loved analyzing each of them. so much that for 1.3 seconds i seriously considered going to law school...but then i saw something shiny...

here are some of my favorite quotes on the freedom of speech--

“I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.”-Woodrow T. Wilson.

“The only way to make sure people you agree with can speak is to support the rights of people you don't agree with.”-Eleanor Holmes Norton.

this graphic on the current state of the freedom of the press in the world is astounding.

i never even realized how lucky i am to be able to participate in my desired career as a journalist/writer--while some attempting the same face substantial punishment and censorship.

so i sign off this post the same way my professor did in our last email: have a good day & "remember to stand up for free expression".

original graphic credit.

xo-

day two.

math + me = badnewsbears.
so after i finished my final math test of my LIFE last week i squealed with happiness.

an ode to math.

dear math.

i hate you more than cats hate baths.

we got along up until long division-
then we had a major collision.

don't get me wrong some like you swell,
but to be honest, you make me yell.

to others you really seem to inspire-
but for me to agree, would make me a liar.

so i bid you farewell, our journey is over-
as for me missing you,
there's a better chance of me someday driving a moon rover.

so goodbye old math, don't worry about me-
you'll still be very well thought of by the rest of my family.

with love and thanks a bunch,
but seriously, don't worry about keeping in touch.

xo.

original graphic credit.

xo-

return of the finals countdown...day one.

in traditional finals week fashion, i give you...

i would have to say the very best part of this semester was meeting this handsome boy:

this is ross & me on an amazing picnic next to potter's lake on campus. we started dating around valentine's day & i have never met a sweeter boy. and I am oh so blessed to be his girl.

we didn't meet at school, but he was definitely a highlight of this semester--to say the least. : )

original graphic credit.

xo-

just because...

{via: flickr.}

it's true!

between midterms, work, babysitting, interning, blogging & living-- these past few weeks have been hectic--& for this, sweet readers, i apologize.

but...
next week is spring break--perhaps by then i will be caught up on all of my to dos & i can get back into my posting more often!

until then, lovely readers...
xo-

le sigh.

recent ramblings. (i'm sorry, i just love alliteration.)

(this post is going to be random & not well thought out. just a head's up. for this i apologize, sweet readers.)

isn't that picture silly? i am continuing to giggle as i am writing this, looking at that.

i think it describes my mood as of late. i can't describe it with words, but this picture captures it perfectly.

first things first-- winter is getting old. i know that everyone is saying the same thing. but winter needs to be clear on knowing that he has outstayed his welcome, by a lot.

also, school is getting quite busy. it stinks. i rarely have time to keep up with reading all of your beautiful blogs & it makes me super grumpy.

and the other day at sonic i ordered a corn dog even though i have always hated them. update: i still hate them. but, hey, they deserved a fair chance.

this leads me to my next realization. i have the palete of a six year old. i only really like hershey chocolate, i prefer macaroni and cheese when given as an option, i will order chicken fingers any and every time they are on any menu. sadly that is pretty much the extent of palate. i know, i know, it's really ridiculous. (at least my sister emily and i agree that homemade lasagna pales in comparison to stauffer's in the tin foil pan...what's with that homemade chunky cheese that looks like crumbs, anyway?!) but all in all, i eat like a six year old.

my bestie michelle & i have been working on a new blog--read about it here. & check it out! : )

So, i listen to the radio in the mornings i drive to school. every wednesday they do a feature i love--but i must be on the bus at 7:45a.m. & the conclusion of the feature isn't done until 7:50a.m... every week i have to quickly decide if the conclusion would be worth being two minutes late to class-today it wasn't. two weeks ago it was. the worst part was a girl from class was at the bus stop while i was sitting in my car yelling at the radio to hurry up and tell me. she went on the first bus, i came late. she knew what was up, well that i am ridiculous. so wednesday's seem to always start out in a bit of a panic, deciding what to do in regards to my radio dilemma.

ok, ok--that is enough crazy for one day...

i hope you all are doing wonderful--

& thank you, thank you for the sweet comments,
they keep me motivated during the weeks!

signing off from the hotmess express...
xo

p.s. why is something awesome referred to as "extraordinary"? to me it sounds like it is just really really ordinary... like it is especially ordinary... extra + ordinary? weird. huh?

bike racks, friends & being a grumpy gus.

{via: weheartit.}

today started out exceptionally grumpy. so when a boy in my class discussion said something very hateful to me it pushed me over the edge- prompting me to stand up, point & say:

"Bike racks: 3 o'clock!"

then we all laughed, including my teacher. but not that mean boy. and inside i was very upset. but at least the class giggled & looking back, i'm glad i randomly yelled that rather than anything else! fewf.

as i walked from class to work i thought about people who would have stood up for me & i immediately thought of my close friends & sweet bloggers (like you!). & i smiled.

because i am so happy to know that i have the best friends who would have been there behind me at the bike racks.

xo-

p.s. thanks bestie for letting me vent on her facebook wall. : )

a message from your heart.

{via: flickr.}

my favorite songs are the ones that feel as though your heart is trying to get your attention-- the feeling that the lyrics were written especially for a you at that moment--you know what i mean?

that is how i feel about this beautiful kt tunstall song. Her first album really helped me with some sad days when i was in high school. Its amazing what music can do for the soul.

Someday Soon.

I think it's time to put myself away
Seek out a little silence
Close the doors and sit a while
Walk a little

And as I put my words away
The flow slows
See this penny in a stream
Picking it up is easy.

Follow the shape of it.
Jump in.
Swallow it whole.
Jump in.

Even though I know my way around
Possibly there's something new I found
Holding on for finding solid ground
Someday soon.
Someday soon.

I'll turn myself into the grass
And I'll grow
Take this space above my head
And live a little, little.

Gonna wear my feathered headdress
Like an Indian chief.
Gonna stretch out both my arms
I'm gonna test the temperature.

Follow the taste of it.
Jump in.
Swallow it whole.
Jump in.

Even though I know my way around (even though)
Possibly there's something new I found (possibly I, possibly I)
Holding on for finding solid ground (ohh..)
Even though I know my way around (even though)
Possibly there's something new I found (possibly I, possibly I)
Holding on for finding solid ground (ohh..)
Someday soon.
Someday soon.

Maybe walk a little
Someday soon.

xo-

A weekend in... Lawrence, KS.

i am so excited to share with you all one of my very first published articles!
a huge thanks to my brother-in-law brandon for photographing some of Lawrence for my piece-- His work is absolutely amazing!

& a ginormous thank you to the sweet Jessie for letting me contribute to their amazing magazine-- she is the editor-in-chief, how awesome is that?!

xo-

i wonder...

{via: flickr.}

sometimes i wonder how one day can be absolutely happy for no particular reason.
i wonder why some days our hearts are far more tender than normal. i wonder how people can say such disheartening things. i wonder if maybe i have done something to make someone else sad. i wonder what people are thinking about in their hearts as they go about their daily lives.

perhaps the girl reading flashcards on the bus is suffering from a newly broken heart- the boy across the aisle in class, who stares ahead so very intently, maybe his mind is running non-stop with about fears of losing his ill grandfather-- & maybe the shy girl in the front row, who takes diligent notes, is really about to explode with excitement over a wonderful date from the night before...
people hide so much from the world, i think we all do.

i wonder how sometimes i can be laughing about something so very silly & within the next minute be brought to tears from something which hurts my heart so. & then there are days in which nothing seems to be going right & you wonder if you were naive for having woken up with a feeling of hope for the day. the day which later would slowly prove to be a day of disappointments.

today i became very discouraged. i wondered how much my life would be impacted by a low grade on a single test, or the fact that i forgot one little assignment.
then i realized:
it can matter for the moment, but i won't let it sour my overall feelings.
i will be sad. i will feel disappointed...but at the end of the day i must dust myself off, get up off the ground, and let the world know that i will sometimes fail.

but my failures will only make me wiser, make me stronger, make me me.

xo-

"what i did at school today..."

[except really this was two weeks ago, minor detail...]
One day in a very invigorating lecture, in a very difficult course, a girl named Anna decided to test herself.
No, she didn't test herself on anything she had been currently studying, rather she chose to channel her inner-fourth grader & see if she still had "it". "It" being a very nerdy ability to name all 50 states in less than an hour-- with out even the outline of a map.
"Could it be done?" she asked herself, hesitating when realizing how long ago fourth grade truly had been.
But Anna wasn't one to just turn down a challenge. So, Anna flipped to a fresh page in her lecture notes spiral notebook & embarked on the challenge. Although she struggled at times & had to look up with a look of serious ponder-idge,
she, in fact, did "it".

"It" had been done.
With ten minutes to spare.
That's right, this Anna had listed all fifty states in under 40 minutes; with no map, no help.

Of course, Anna was simply elated & had a hard time containing her excitement in the last ten minutes of lecture.
once the class was dismissed Anna turned excitedly to her friend next to her & exclaimed her feat:

His response: "Did you really come to lecture to do that?!"
Anna's response: "Oh, so clearly you came to improve on YOUR doodling."

but nevertheless Anna was quite proud of herself.

xo-

cherished chats.

[part of daisy hill on the west side of campus, august 2009.]

Today after my math lecture i hopped on the bus & rode to west campus to stop by my dad's office. I made sure that his schedule was open around noon so I could come by to eat lunch with him before my next lecture at 1pm. {I've made the mistake of stopping by unexpectedly and ended up sitting outside of his office for an hour waiting for a student to finish meeting with him...& then, of course, times when other professors stop by his office for "professor-y" things.} evidently he is very popular.

I love going to my dad's office. but even more so, I love chatting with him about various things.

today we discussed my Berlin lecture & how American universities were modeled after the University of Berlin.
last week we talked typography.

and i loved every minute.

xo-