Little Miss Perfect?

Sorry for the late start this morning. I've been dealing with a whopper of a headache (not a migraine, thankfully, otherwise there would be no way I'd be talking to you right now), which I've been trying to sleep off. When I finally got around to going through my emails I came across the Goop newsletter. Today they were dealing with the question of boundaries. All the contributors had something interesting to say, but I was really struck by the words of Monica Berg (excerpt below), which got me thinking.

"At some point we get the message...that we need to excel at everything. Academics, career, mind, body and spirit--and we're expected to keep it all in perfect balance.

This creates a total impossibility. We become afraid to act because we are afraid to fail. And that’s why so many of us are trapped in prisons made up of beliefs such as, 'I can’t disappoint my family,' or 'I mustn’t speak up because I will be labeled as 'difficult,' or 'I have to be perfect all the time.'

I loathe this word: perfect. Mostly, because I tried to be this person most of my young adult life. Unfortunately, this unconscious image of perfection is totally at odds with what our soul wants—to be free, to make mistakes & grow stronger through life experiences, and to express itself fully."

From my experience this issue is something that women struggle with constantly and much more so then men. I'm not a mother but I've seen this need to be perfect become even more pronounced once women have children. Part of that, I'm sure, is that motherhood just amplifies everything. It's one thing to make mistakes where you're concerned, another when it's your child. The worst part is it seems to be women competing against one another--comparing, criticizing--and themselves, being scared to accept help because they might not be seen as the can-do-it-all Superwoman. How did we get here? I have no idea.

I'd like to think that I've accepted the fact that I'll never be perfect, never be the perfectly put together girl with the flawless hair or the colour coded closet. My relationships will be bumpy, but hopefully honest. The truth is, though, that it's a constant battle to remind myself that I can't be everything for everyone (whether at work or at home) nor do I need to be. And sometimes taking a stand and actually speaking my mind is difficult, although I've gotten a lot better at telling people where to go. And trying not to feel guilty all the time. What do you think? Do you struggle with the need to be "perfect"?

Images
1, 3-5: weheartit.com
2: Tommy Ton for Vogue Nippon