“And if strength was born from heartbreak...

 then mountains I could move."

 [grandma Allen & me circa 1989.]

dearest grandma Allen,
i think of you everyday. i miss you everyday. i send my Love to you everyday. 
but you already know that, right?  because most days, i know that you are checking in on me... watching over us one by one.  last week i caught a whiff of your perfume... it took me back to every hug i have ever given you & they replayed in my head all at once.  i closed my eyes & felt so loved.

i always see you in my dreams.  you always let me know that you are ok & that you love me.  they are the best dreams, vivid & so real.  i think it's our way of communicating.

i try & make you proud, grandma.  i think you would be.  i have started standing up for myself, grandma.  sometimes i feel like you & Jesus are high-fiving whenever i stick up for what i believe in & not being a doormat.  you are such an inspiration, grandma. you were such a smart, sassy, confident woman & your life was focused on Love. your Love has impacted our lives more than you could ever imagine.  our family is truly built on a foundation of Love, one you laid for us.

we miss you like crazy, but we send Love to you & one another every single day.
  
nothing is the same since the day you had to leave. all of our hearts feel pangs of missing you each day- but our hearts are filled with your Love & the wonderful memories you left with us.
its hard without you, grandma. but, i know you are here.
you would have Loved Christopher's wedding.  it was just like a good ole fashioned Allen wedding.  eating, dancing, Loving the night away.

you'd be thrilled, grandma, we are all loving & living. because we know we will see you again & it will be better than any Allen event in the past...(though that is totally hard to believe.) ; )

I miss & Love you so much,
your Annie.