I feel kind of like a zombie, every single day. Minus the craving of brains and rotting skin, of course, but the slow, jerky movements, the dragging of one leg as the other gimps forward. Eyes puffy and purple and twitching. Arms stretched outwards to catch me in case I black out for a minute and fall because I have not put my contacts in, or because my blood sugar is low. I feel like laying on the couch, barking barely legible commands to my children while swaddled in my down comforter until about 3:00 pm. My to do list keeps getting longer and longer as the majority of my day is lost in this haze of shrouded fatigue.
After about 3:00pm, I magically wake-up, like Dorothy in the "Wizard of Oz" when she opens the door of her black and white world into this magical kingdom full of vibrance and color. I finally have the much needed energy to do the things I have been wanting to do... but the day is getting late.
What is going on? I decided, I have become a victim of self-fulfilling prophecy. I know this is how I am every.single.day. so I have come to terms with it, I've hung up my punching gloves and said, "I am defeated by my body". Even though I feel like the witch that got a house dropped on her, I've decided, "Well, not any more". I am going to wake up singing some "Meet Me in St. Louis" songs and dance and twirl my way through the morning. If I happen to pass out on the way to the living room and my warm and cozy blanket softens my fall, don't hate me. I can only try. Perhaps I'lll repost this again in a few months when I need a subtle reminder poke in the ribs... But for now, I am not going to be a "surrender Dorothy".
*this post was oddly appropriate, since I played a munchin in elementary school play, and a talking, semi-acrobatic toto in high school. I'll update with pics if I ever find them!
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